1990s outfit for my last christmas party in gourdo's

ok, i still don't have a costume for christmas party and it's next next week na. WAAH!

I think i'll have to choose between these pictures . . .

Bust your Windows

I bust the windows out your car
And no, it didn't mend my broken heart
I'll probably always have these ugly scars
But right now, I don't care about that part

I bust the windows out your car
After I saw you laying next to her
I didn't wanna but I took my turn
I'm glad i did it? cause you had to learn

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that i had that much strength
But I'm glad you see what happens when

You see you just can't play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You'll probably say that it was juvenile
But i think that i deserve to smile

I bust the windows out your car
You know i did it cause i left my mark
Wrote my initials with a crowbar
And then i drove up into the dark

I bust the windows out your car
You should feel lucky that was all i did
After 5 whole years of this bullshit
Gave you all of me and you played with it.

I must admit it helped a little bit
To think of how you'd feel when you saw it
I didn't know that i had that much strength
But i'm glad you see what happens when

You see you just can't play with people's feelings
Tell them you love them and don't mean it
You probably say that it was juvenile
But i think that i deserve to smile

[Incomprehensible] out your car
But it don't come back to my broken heart
You could never feel how i felt that day
Until it happens, baby, you don't know pain

Oh yeah, i did it, you should know it
I ain't sorry, you deserved it
After what you did to me
You deserved it, i ain't sorry no, no

You broke my heart, so i broke your car
You caused me pain, so i did the same
Even though what you did to me was much worse
I had to do something to make you hurt

Oh, but why am I still crying?
Why am I the one who's still crying?
Oh, oh, you really hurt me, baby
You really, really hurt me, baby

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
Now, watch me you
Now, watch me you
I bust the windows out your car

You can use the Glee version of Mercedes:p

Moment of Truth..or this time, BUSTED?

A meeting to be set..Group meeting with my real Entrep Gang..(* *) urrgghh..It's not that i don't want to see them..I'd be a major major liar if i'd say that. LOL

It's just that my friend said that he has a major2 chismis to say that's why we need to meet. I don't want to overreact but I hope it's not about that major chismis that i don't want to hear (na SILA NA).

That's so Major Major Whatever of me naman. I would look like a major loser if mahalata ng friends ko na i'm still affected. So, i have to prove to them na ayoko nang maging affected kasi I already don't care!! If they're already happy, then FINE. don't want to make a comment anymore. I just want to go on with my life, find my own happiness, my own inner peace.

I want to be like the Demi Lovato in the Joe Jonas-Demi Lovato relationship (just cut the part where they were still friends after they broke up..HAHA) I won't be affected. It's just that, like what Joe Jonas said: I guess there would really be a perfect timing for everything, but in the end there would really be no perfect timing for that... so much better if hayaan na lang..) I guess it wasn't really meant to be. Wala lang talagang naging confrontation about the proper ending for that surreal relationship..

People come and go..Relationships would come and go also (especially if it was really a vague relationship at the start). So my major major mistake was that sana, i savored the moments na lang while we were together and much happier with what we had..and with what i felt for him. So My major lesson for myself is to accept whatever chismis my friend will tell me and answer them directly that KEBERS nako sa kanila because kahit di pa nila i-confirm sa madlang people na may something sila, i already found out because of the Stalking techniques that Facebook taught me (thanks to FB).

AJA LANG GIRL!:p

PAUTWAS

With this diagram, somehow i could relate and i wish i could FOLLOW. Of course, the main topic of this blog is my mind bugging memories with my EX-slash-up to now problem with this GUY! Based on what i've read to some twitter account that i am following"Forgetting someone is a CHOICE"(i'm also telling this to myself), but i couldn't seem to understand why it's just so hard for me to forget about him! I mean, hello INNA. It's been like what, two years already? And yeah, he's still the one that's been on my mind, besides work and stress.

If we could go back to the first question in the diagram, I am always trying to answer the questions, but somehow the advice doesn't seem to work.
Well, to give you a better idea, here is what's been going on my mind lately: (while thinking about him)
1. Are you happy?
No (because up to now, i can't convince myself to stop liking him)
2. Do you want to be happy?
Yes (while waiting for the best possible answer to my mind bugging situation)
ANSWER: Change something.

Change something. Well, the only reason that could be related to this answer is to FORGET ABOUT HIM. Every time i try to convince my mind to forget about him, the "WHAT IFs" situation suddenly pops out into my brain, then suddenly my willingness to forget about him disappears. The feeling of liking him so much is like an addiction. I can't seem to live a day without thinking about him or wondering if he has a new girlfriend or a "kalandian" ( i guess that would be the right term).

I mean, come to think of it, with my standards of looking for a potential someone, he really wouldn't pass the looks and the humor. But i guess, i like him because of his talent and he's really smart(which really turns me on 'cause i like smart and talented guys).

Nakakaloka lang. I sometimes feel that i'm going to get crazy soon. I also hate the fact that there's this girl who's so LANDUTAY to the max when she comments to his FB. Err.

Actually, i don't really have the right to be jealous or get mad because were not in a relationship:'(. SO, if he prefers to be lovey-dovey-slash-maglandian with that girl, i can't do anything about it.

One night, i was so getting crazy and ANGRY with myself that suddenly i created a prayer:

Lord, i really need your guidance with regards to this. If we're not meant to be, then lord please give me courage to accept the truth. But i'm also willing to wait for the right moment, if you think that we might have a chance to be together in the future. But if we're not really meant to be together, I hope that i could find that someone soon.

In whatever i do, i truly believe that: God has a sense, a plan behind everything that happens.

Well, from my blog title: PAUTWAS it is a hiligaynon word which means to find a way where you can labas your sama ng loob. so i guess this is my way.

INSOMNIA

I really have weird sleeping habits lately. I can stay up at until 6 in the morning without feeling sleepy (but kinda bit dizzy i guess). Thanks to Globe's Super Surf 50..i can surf the net from night till dawn. HaHa

So here i am again. Trying to reminisce all the good times that i've spent with my friends and classmates during college. It was really fun then because even if we didn't have enough money to go somewhere or eat somewhere nice, we had fun because we have all the time to spend together. Just sharing those jokes or making fun with each other is better. Not like today when all of us are kinda working already.

We don't have the grasp of our schedule and time. As much as we would want to meet each other, we find it hard to be complete because of the different schedules and working days. We end up having every quarter of the month lunch or dinner meetings. Haha. It's Kind of funny though.

I'm almost a year working on my 1st job (wow i think for me this is an accomplishment already. to stay in your 1st hell job for almost a year HAHA!).

I just suddenly had a time to reflect on what has happened to my life after a year, I realized that i've learned a lot from my work. Not to mention that all those hardships on how they've really pushed me hard to really think and work independently just because it's a small company and i'm the only one handling that kind of job in the company (events). Boy, this is really tough. But i wouldn't consider this as a mistake because this work just gave me an opportunity to grow in different aspects that can help me for my future plans (^^.).

But then again, the downfall to this kind of career is your social life. I lost contacts to almost everyone, even to my own friend in the same condo! haha (we don't have enough time to talk about our anything because either i'm too tired or she's already asleep). Well, not to mention those potential lovelifes..Haha! I really had all those regrets.. Just because i wasn't that confident enough to even accept to myself that i loved that guy. haha!

Well that was my mistake, and my PAST so my advice for myself would be: Try and try, until you succeed! hahaha.. and there's plenty of fish in the sea. But first, i just have to have the time for myself first to figure out what career should i really pursue and also so that i can have the time to search for that right person for me.

I really and truly BELIEVE, that life isn't just about career. It should be balanced between your Lovelife and your Family also.. haha! you just need to learn how to prioritize and to stand on your own beliefs.

Sa bawat sakripisyo, may rewards..so AJA!

Dapat nakong matulog baka magkakaroon nako ng sakit talaga.. haha :)

E.K. Galore

I admit, this look is really a "frustated singer". HAHA

While we were on our way to E.K., we stopped by at Waltermart and took some silly pictures at the games station.. haha

On our first pictures we looked so very excited to ride all those roller coasters and anchor's away.

After about 5 rides we felt so dizzy and looked so "lantang gulay"na hahaha.

Especially after the biggest roller coaster.

One piece of advice: Don't eat DQ Blizzard before riding the biggest roller coaster in E.K. kasi kung ano ung itsura nya nung kinain mo, makkita mo rin na exactly the same ung itsura ng blizzard pag sinuka mo..

EEEEWWWWW...

HAHAHA..

Tramway Bday Celebration ni Dara & Joti

Yey, i've met my college blockmates again yesterday, thanks to Joti and Dara's Bday celeb at Tramway:)

Q.C. fever (* *) bat kase anlayo na ng Q.C. para sakin? (malamang sa makati nako nakatira.. chos!)

Sana next time ulit, videoke naman!:p basta weekend, walang trabaho, at walang event!

Pastry Alliance of the Philippines at SOFITEL

It was supposed to be my DAY-OFF but i preferred to work just to attend the rehearsals of Pastry Alliance of the Philippines for the competition in Singapore.

I wanted to see what they were up to or their designs for the competition.. Well, some were cool, some were just ok but there were also some displays that were not that good enough for a competition. (Well hey, it's just my opinion). The one that i'm particularly pertaining to was one of the display for the "live dressing up the cake" competition. It looked so simple and the Tiger art piece in the center of the cake was so not that good looking..

Well anyways, I really loved the art piece display of Chef Arnel Paris Team for the Isomalt (if that's what they call it hehe) Display with the fishes, aquamarine theme and the Chocolate art piece. I had fun:) I'm continuously learning and striving my way to "fit in" in the culinary industry. HAHA!

Someday, i might even be joining that team (TOINKZ)

Good Luck PAP! My prayers are with you:)

A Dose of Kiligness

I was so Kilig!:p

Starstrucked ever ang drama. Maxado tlaga kong halata! haha. Ung nakakainis na part nung kiligness was when i Joked that I will tag him na lang in facebook. He asked me if do we have a common friend in Facebook. Well, of course i said no.

And then he gave me his eadd username in FB! :))))

Well the nakakainis part was that hindi naman pala siya pwede i-add because he has a private acount where you can't add him as a friend, unless he allows you to. Err! anways. Whatever! At least i was happy, he made me happy kahit ngayong gabi lang. Even if i missed the most important show in my Life, which is A.I.

Aaah! haappyyy:)

Night!:p

Read my mind

Wow.. i actually haven't thought of creating my own blog..but i just did..

I'm so piled up with effing work. I'm trying to finish this all in one week but i just can't. I end up staring in my phone, sneaking up on my FB while at work, reading the yahoo news or googling nonsense things.. I also end up googling my name, and my crush name..

CHOS.

Back to Work :p