PAUTWAS

With this diagram, somehow i could relate and i wish i could FOLLOW. Of course, the main topic of this blog is my mind bugging memories with my EX-slash-up to now problem with this GUY! Based on what i've read to some twitter account that i am following"Forgetting someone is a CHOICE"(i'm also telling this to myself), but i couldn't seem to understand why it's just so hard for me to forget about him! I mean, hello INNA. It's been like what, two years already? And yeah, he's still the one that's been on my mind, besides work and stress.

If we could go back to the first question in the diagram, I am always trying to answer the questions, but somehow the advice doesn't seem to work.
Well, to give you a better idea, here is what's been going on my mind lately: (while thinking about him)
1. Are you happy?
No (because up to now, i can't convince myself to stop liking him)
2. Do you want to be happy?
Yes (while waiting for the best possible answer to my mind bugging situation)
ANSWER: Change something.

Change something. Well, the only reason that could be related to this answer is to FORGET ABOUT HIM. Every time i try to convince my mind to forget about him, the "WHAT IFs" situation suddenly pops out into my brain, then suddenly my willingness to forget about him disappears. The feeling of liking him so much is like an addiction. I can't seem to live a day without thinking about him or wondering if he has a new girlfriend or a "kalandian" ( i guess that would be the right term).

I mean, come to think of it, with my standards of looking for a potential someone, he really wouldn't pass the looks and the humor. But i guess, i like him because of his talent and he's really smart(which really turns me on 'cause i like smart and talented guys).

Nakakaloka lang. I sometimes feel that i'm going to get crazy soon. I also hate the fact that there's this girl who's so LANDUTAY to the max when she comments to his FB. Err.

Actually, i don't really have the right to be jealous or get mad because were not in a relationship:'(. SO, if he prefers to be lovey-dovey-slash-maglandian with that girl, i can't do anything about it.

One night, i was so getting crazy and ANGRY with myself that suddenly i created a prayer:

Lord, i really need your guidance with regards to this. If we're not meant to be, then lord please give me courage to accept the truth. But i'm also willing to wait for the right moment, if you think that we might have a chance to be together in the future. But if we're not really meant to be together, I hope that i could find that someone soon.

In whatever i do, i truly believe that: God has a sense, a plan behind everything that happens.

Well, from my blog title: PAUTWAS it is a hiligaynon word which means to find a way where you can labas your sama ng loob. so i guess this is my way.